From the beginning.

Ever since I was young I always knew that I wanted to have babies. The day I found out I was pregnant with Lily was, and still is one of the blurriest days of my life. I wasn't married but it was still a welcomed unexpected surprise.I remember telling Jacob that day when he got home from work. I had gone to the store and bought a little pink baby bib that said "I Love my Daddy" and gave it to him. He looked at it funny for a second and then I saw when it clicked. He looked at me and said "Are you pregnant?". I just shook my head yes. Now those of you who don't know my husband super well my not know that he does tend to over react on things, (love you babe but you do), but I remember the look in his eye when he realized what I was saying and it was pure joy. The panic came just shortly after. But I knew he was just as excited as I was.

Through out my pregnancy I had some complications and was considered "high risk". It had nothing to do with Lily it was all because of me and my "uteran anomaly" but despite all the risk of premature birth and chances of bed rest Lily grew perfect and gave me no issues, and actually, to my annoyance arrived 2 days after her due date. Lily Carolyn Ross was born on 4/14/12 at 4:15 am and when she was born I remember her being so perfectly pink and beautiful. She barely even cried, and really from then on she proved to be one of the easiest, smartest, funniest, strong willed, and unique little girls I have ever met. From a very young age Grandma Kim and I have always called Lily an "Old Soul" and still believe that with all my heart today.

As Lily has grown up I have become more proud of her everyday. I didn't expect to be so proud of her when she was this young. I expected it as she got older but just to see all the things that she can do and say just blows my mind! She is only almost 3 but yet she tells it how it is and doesn't think twice. Her memory is better than mine which has posed quite a problem sometimes. Can we say Christmas? I know now for sure that everything happens for a reason. I know that her ability communicate is what has made this process bearable. Its hard enough for me to watch her change so drastically, both behaviorally and physically, but I also know our silver lining is that she can tell me what hurts, and how it hurts. At least I know I can help her manage her pain in that way.

My biggest lesson learned for today is everything happens for a reason. I have been shown that over and over again. I know Jake and I were meant to be together for this journey. I know that Lily being born when she was, was no "accident", and I know that she was meant to go through this to teach us all something. So far I can say that she has mostly taught me patience. :)